You can read my story below or watch my video here.
On Friday, January 18, 2019 my life was forever changed when I unexpectedly had to say goodbye to my love, my little soulmate my Tiny Diamond Rose McGee.
Although my dog had been sick for quite some time and we were doing everything we could to help her heal, I walked outside that fateful day to find her dead in our backyard.
Her heart stopped and she fell over dead. I found her lying awkwardly across her bed I had put outside for her so that she could lie comfortably in the sun.
When I walked out and found her this way so unexpectedly, my heart almost stopped too.
While the story of my reaction and what I had to do that day is for another time, I can only tell you that I never want to experience pain like that again.
It’s been more than a month at the time of this writing and I am still having days of unrelenting tears and heartache that feel like they will never be soothed.
And even so, in the midst of the grieving and the healing, of the incredibly sweet care from my husband, and re-calibration happening with the energy of our household, I am still learning.
I’m using her life, her experience, her transition, and my part in all of that for the brilliant, beautiful, wonderful, transformative lessons she is now sharing with me, and I really want to pass along some of her wisdom to you too in the hopes that her beautiful, radiant spirit can help you in some way.
Let me give you a little background…
If you don’t know me, I’m an oracle card reader and teacher who shares my love of oracle cards with people because of how much they have helped me in my life.
I have a private FB group for my soul family where I share a Weekly Wisdom lesson from the cards and live card readings on FB Live every Tuesday.
The Tuesday after Tiny’s transition I was still an emotional wreck and there was no way I was going to be able to show my face on FB Live, but I am committed to showing up for my soul sisters as I promised to do, so that Tuesday, instead of my usual FB live, I decided to work through my grief by sharing what I learned from Tiny and her life.
Knowing that my favorite Galactic Heritage oracle cards* would have wisdom to share as well, I used my cards to help me understand the lessons from Tiny and it’s these lessons I’d love to share with you too.
3 Spiritual Lessons I Learned from Tiny
Lesson #1: Atlantean Era
What I love about the Galactic Heritage deck is that it’s rich with life lessons and karma, and it always helps me to have a new perspective on things. And in this case, the perspective of the book was immensely helpful. So I’m going to share with you some highlights of the book.
“The past 13,000 years were about the masculine principle which is about war, polarity, ignorance, and confusion about spiritual identity. It’s a time of darkness and sleep.
“Humanity is moving out of this time now and we are seeing the old ways crumble. Do not be discouraged by what you see. Consider it a sign that humanity is awakening again…
“This card asks you to examine your own life and beliefs. Do you feel more comfortable with one polarity more than another? Ultimately, our spiritual evolution depends our ability to integrate these internal polarities as a first priority. Only then do we see the external polarities healing as a result.”
At first I was confused by what Tiny could have taught me about this lesson, but this card is about moving away from one polarity into balance of the two.
Let the masculine and feminine have equal say instead of letting the masculine dominate your life.
Trust your feminine instincts and energy because they will tell you when to operate from the masculine principle and when to stay in the feminine flow.
I used to own a doggie daycare and we were the best place in town. We did a daycare evaluation on dogs where we graded them on 7 different aspects of their personalities, and the first thing we looked at was temperament.
There were several different types: dominant, submissive, fearful, indifferent, bully, and flexible. A “flexible” temperament dog was very rare. Flexible meant the dog was dominant when necessary and submissive when dominance was not necessary.
Tiny was the only flexible dog we ever had in our daycare.
She had a very dominant air about her — so much so that we would use her as the “teacher” when a dog with an attitude problem needed an adjustment — but she rarely acted dominant. She would only make a correction to another dog if necessary, but her energy was so dominant that just her presence in the play yard often stopped the other dog from acting up.
However, if another dog in the yard was dominant and it didn’t cause a problem with the pack, then she didn’t care. She let the other dog have his way.
Her energy was enough to change another dog’s behavior without even having to interact with them at all.
This is her lesson: Where can you be more flexible in life? Where does your masculine need to relax and your feminine need to step up and lead a little bit more? How can you let your “being” state rule your “doing” state?
Lesson #2: Being the Mentors
Here’s what the book says: “Since ancient times, our planet has had nonhuman mentors (ahem, pets anyone?) who have helped us through our evolutionary challenges. Eventually humankind will be mentors for other lesser-evolved species we will encounter in the universe.
“But even now we have the responsibility to spiritually mentor those on earth who ask for our help without forcing it. Trust in your ability to help others, even if you think you don’t know how.
“Let your words and deeds come from your heart. That is all you need.
“No matter what, know that the mentor/apprentice relationship is one of the most sacred in all of creation and being asked to fulfill this role either as a mentor or as an apprentice is a blessing. Embrace this role with your full heart and notice how it enriches your life.”
Well, this is an easy one! I am more than blessed to have had Tiny as a mentor in my life. I was completely the apprentice here. She’s the evolved being.
She taught me how to be more present. Knowing her time was becoming limited a year or so ago, I decided that whenever she intruded her little head into the side of my chair when I was working and demanded attention, that I was going to stop what I was doing and fully love on her as much as she wanted. She taught me there’s always time for love.
She taught me some patience for dealing with her disease, and helped me to find peace in my mind, body, and spirit.
She taught me about unconditional love — both giving and receiving — which I’ll talk more about in a minute.
She taught me about what’s important in life and helped me to do more of what’s important.
And she kept me sane a lot.
Have you ever seen the bumper sticker on cars that says “who rescued who?” — and that’s true.
We think she was the one who was rescued. We think she’s the one who’s the apprentice, but boy are we wrong in that line of thinking.
So think about who and what are in your life that you are learning from.
Sure, you might have otherworldly galactic guides as this card is literally suggesting, and you might also have other influences that are teaching you what you need to know. Pay attention.
And then implement what you learn in your life because at some point, it really will be your turn to lead and mentor, and honestly, it often happens in an unofficial way.
It happens by people observing you, your behavior and how you treat yourself and others. Or how you deal with challenging situations. Or how you honor your own truth or care for your things or prioritize what’s important. You never know who is watching.
So yes, plan for a time when you will officially take a role as mentor (and if you already have, then plan for it to show up in new ways), learn from your mentors who are around you now, and prepare yourself.
AND live your life in accordance with what you learn and how you want to BE in this world because you never know who is watching you and following your lead.
Lesson #3: Ultimate Evolution
The book says: “This card represents the birth of a new species. The Zetas transformed themselves from a species of fear and limitation to one of higher consciousness, compassion, and love. It was not an easy road but an immensely fulfilling one…
“This card represents your personal evolution. You have the capability to make dramatic changes in who you are by ‘walking through the fire’ (confronting rather than avoiding your fears), asking for help, and trusting the process. Your galactic family is with you. You are not alone.
“This card refers to the profound evolution that happens when beings confront their fears and the issues they don’t want to see. But it is much more than confrontation.
“It also has to do with seeing the issues you are avoiding clearly and not looking away, while surrendering to the process of owning their presence in your life, embracing them as teachers, having gratitude, and never ever judging yourself because of them.
“This leads to compassion, self responsibility, self respect, and the ability to receive and give infinite amounts of unconditional love.
“This process is so powerful that if everyone in the whole human race were willing to clearly see themselves and do the work necessary for evolution, earth could transform within a very short amount of time… it is encouraging you to accelerate your evolution by activating this process of clear sight and self-acceptance for the purpose of your evolution.”
One of my biggest fears was Tiny leaving me – her whole life. I was so, so, so protective of my dogs, especially her, from getting lost, getting stolen, getting blamed for something because of her breed. I had a HUGE fear of her being taken from me, and that included her death.
I do feel very fortunate that I could see her death coming with the progression of her illness and the other illness she developed because of it, so I was slowly starting to prepare for it.
And yet, are we ever prepared to face our biggest fear?
That Friday when I walked outside and found her body, my biggest fear slammed me over the head like a 2×4.
I had no choice but to face it because it was facing me. So I did what I had to do.
There’s a lot to the story, but the short version is that I faced my fear and prepared her body to leave. It was not easy by any means, but I did it.
And the grief that has faced me since has not been easy, but I am facing it. I’m choosing to face it and FEEL it because I know that’s how I will heal.
Avoidance never heals. Being tough and fighting your way through it never heals.
What heals – and creates strength – is being scared to death and doing it anyway.
And what’s interesting about this process is that facing these fears — facing death — are making me want to stop hiding (after I’m done grieving) and be seen!
I feel like ‘screw it, why am I not out there speaking and connecting and doing bigger things? Why am I not showing my work in bigger ways?’
I want change. I want to change my environment to be designed more in alignment with my next level. I’m done waiting and procrastinating.
Now, I know that wanting to change the environment after someone dies, and wanting to go out and “live life to the fullest” are part of the grieving process. I know there are psychological reasons associated with the death of someone you love for wanting those things, but changing your life, no longer waiting for something to happen to you and initiating it to happen for you instead, or living a fuller life — I think those can be the positive sides of facing your fears.
And once you face your fears, they are no longer unknown monsters that you don’t know if you can conquer.
They become known AND they stop being the enemy.
When you’re scared and you say ‘I’m doing it anyway’ you develop courage and strength you didn’t have before, and the thing that scared you becomes waaaaaay less scary, and you become empowered.
So my lesson from Tiny is to look at what scares me and do those things first. Be grateful for the opportunities those fears are presenting and face them head on.
Your Personal Evolution
So look at the order in which I pulled these cards. They are in order from lowest to highest and they highlight our path of personal evolution.
Here’s a summary of 3 spiritual lessons I learned from Tiny:
1. Be more balanced in the masculine and feminine. Allow the feminine to lead. It will let you know when the masculine energy is necessary. Listen to it.
TIP: this feminine aspect is your intuition.
2. Learn from your mentors — they may not be who you think they are — and then share what you learn formally AND just in the way you live your life.
You never know who is watching you for guidance. Just show up fully and be you. Live in your highest integrity and that becomes mentoring you offer the world.
3. Face and embrace your fears. They build courage and strength and bring freedom and empowerment that you have never known before.
The Bonus Lesson (+ a Wink from the Divine)
Now, this morning before pulling any cards, I asked for a sign that Tiny is with me…
A couple hours later I pulled the 3 cards I just shared with you, and then a question popped into my mind:
‘What does my future hold for me?’ so I asked and pulled a card.
My card? #7 Unconditional Love.
I actually laughed because I knew it was my sign from Tiny that she is with me.
And I also realized this is a bonus lesson from her for all of us.
So I first take this card’s obvious meaning that I am receiving unconditional love from Tiny all the time for all eternity.
We have a bond that cannot be broken because her physical body is gone. It is being transmuted into its next form, but that does not stop the love from existing.
Love is energy that can never be destroyed…
And when I read about the card, it means so much more.
In the book, unconditional love means self-love, self-acceptance, or loving others. The universe loves itself unconditionally and, since we are of the universe, it stands to reason that we love ourselves unconditionally.
For me, this works with my word of the year: Goddess — which is a reminder for me of how I want to treat my body and myself this year so that I can grow and heal. If I focus on unconditional self-love, I will heal.
I almost said ‘if I focus on unconditional self-love I will heal my physical ailments’, but what if that’s not the way it’s supposed to go? What if healing simply means true self-acceptance as I am with everything about me that I think is imperfect?
That’s what this year is about for me. If Tiny can love me unconditionally as I loved her unconditionally, then I can love myself that way.
We all can. That is a right and an ability that each one of us has that nothing and no one can take away from us.
We don’t need anyone’s permission to love ourselves. We don’t need to be a certain way.
We are of the Universe, of God, of Goddess, of Spirit. That means we are of perfection as our imperfect human selves and we owe ourselves unconditional love.
And I truly loved Tiny unconditionally.
There was NOTHING about her physically, mentally, spiritually, or otherwise, that I didn’t absolutely LOVE.
And as her body deteriorated and her physical form dwindled, I still thought she was the most magnificent, most beautiful creature ever.
I loved her a billion percent with her scars, her hair loss, her droopy eyes, her bones sticking out, her dirty teeth, her bad breath, her aged skin – ALL OF IT.
Because it was her LIGHT which was her love that shined so brightly and made everything else, all of that physical stuff, completely unimportant as far as love goes.
Tiny taught me what it means to love unconditionally.
She gifted me with the feeling of giving unconditional love AND with the feeling of receiving unconditional love as well because she didn’t care about any of my physical flaws or limitations either.
She truly loved me at a soul level like I loved her at a soul level.
What in your life has helped you experience the feeling of unconditional love both in giving it and receiving it?
Even if it’s an object, like a tree, use that to tune into the feeling of what unconditional love feels like and practice radiating that back to yourself.
If someone or something else can love you unconditionally regardless of your humanness, and you know what it feels like to love someone or something unconditionally, then you have all the skills you need to turn that love back around to yourself.
It will just take your will and some practice. You can do it. Let’s make that a goal of ours this year: to love ourselves unconditionally.
I’m doing my best to give that to myself. Tiny wants that for me and she wants that for you too.
I love you.